OhGI

Hi y'all.

A wise man (I think it was KD Lang), once said: "Life is a rollercoaster, one minute you're going where the planes go, the next you're where the planes go when its raining, one minute you're in heaven, the next you're vomiting over your brand new Nikes". Its been that way for me - celebrating victory with the moroons one day, back to the dredgery of souths the next.

Here at souths we're already thinking 2012. Our season has been absolutely shithouse, and I'm not talking The Quick and the Dead shithouse, I'm talking Thirty Odd Foot of Grunts shithouse. I've never played with such a bunch of selfish pathetic losers before. Our forwards are as soft as marshmallows and our backs as slow as wood fired oven pizzas................................................................................................................................................

Sorry 'bout that, had to go out for a snack. Like I was saying, Souths 2011 are the worst bunch of losers since Souths 2010. Now some might say I'm being a bit harsh but honesty and commitment is what will get us out of this mess. I said exactly the same thing at the honesty session Johnny Lang called after the Manly debacle. Well, I would have said it but I couldn't be bothered turning up, I went to Burger King with Merrito instead. 

In the wake of yet another embarrassing defeat and season, all we can do is look forward to the local derby between us and the roosters this week at historic homebush. I'm expecting a massive crowd this week as the two foundation clubs lock horns. If we don't crack the 10000 mark then I'm a New South Welshmen.

The game should be a belter - as should be the after game party. The great thing about rugby league is that even though you beat the hell out of each other on the field after the game the 2 sides can have a beer or 2 together. Lucky Sandow and Todd Carney have been put in charge of this year's party - I'm not expecting to be sober or wear pants for a week.

Well I better go. Bloody Johnny Lang has organised another honesty session. Here's some honesty you washed up old coot: "You can't coach for shit". Then Mr Crowe has called us all in for a personal reading of the book of feuds.  Then Richo is coming in to give us all bunny hugs. This type of thing never happened in Melbourne. The coach would just slip an envelope full of cash into our shorts and ask how our speedboats were going and then we'd go out and play.

On a final note, I'd just like to thank the club's social media professional for sticking up for us this week. This social media professional does a lot of hard work at the club - looking at facebook and gossiping all day must be really hard work. The social media professional was da chik who inspired this blog. Cheers, Kuku.

From GI.

PS: I throwing out my 2012 predictions early: we'll be minor premiers, premiers, have the best defence, best attak and some kid called Roberts will be rookie of the year. On a more serious note, I'm  also predicting 2012 will be a great year for gourmet hamburgers, pizza with thai toppings, fried chicken, ice cream in 5kg tubs, potato chips, kebabs without salad, coke, hungry jacks and all you can eat chinese at the local food court. Bring on 2012!!!!!

State of Origin Aye.

Really disappointed with what went on at Cronulla last Saturday. I took time time off from da Queensland camp to watch da boys and I can honestly say I've never seen such an inept performance. I lined up for half an hour at the hotdog stand and when I got there I was told they only had 5 left. Then at the pie stand they had run out of sausage rolls. A really amateurish performance all round.

Camp with the Queensland boys has been great. Big Mal gathered us around on the thursday night and we had an honesty session, each player had to stand up and tell the rest what it meant to be a maroon. Locky's retelling of his days in Roma bought a tear to my eye, I had know idea that Queensland was a part of Italy. Thursto's effort was equally inspiring - he just grabbed a six pack of fourex and sculled it before falling down drunk.

When it was my turn I was lost for words - how do you tell 20 odd passionate queenslanders that playing for Queensland was all I wanted to do since I was 20 years old when Chris Close first waved a fat cheque under my nose?

We're pumped for the big game. A lot of bullshit has been written about coach Hagan, Gillmeister, Big Mal, typical bullshit from those south of the Murray. The boys are fired up to do it for Chicken George. Sam Thaiday has been practicing being third man in all week, constantly jumping into Billy and Hodgo's bed when they were trying to have some private time together. And Nate Myles has sworn off the booze for a whole day leading up to the game!!!!! Talk about sacrifice.

Back to souths for a minute. Its fair to say we haven't lived up to the hefty expectations placed on us after we finished a spectacular ninth last year. A lot of people are wondering what's going on. Well its simple. John Lang can't coach and John Sutton is a wanker. And Isaac Luke and Lucky Sandow are dimwitted midgets who couldn't outsmart a box of pretzels. And Rusty and Richo keep butting their fat noses in where they're not wanted. And the level of catering at the club is abmyssal. I think its fair to say that moral is at an all time high.

It's tough being away from Sally. I've rang her at least once over the last few days letting her know I love her and the speedboat. That's the hardest thing about being a professional sportsman, the weeks away from your possesions.

Well I best be off. training session later today followed by the traditional pre game dinner which is always a hoot. Actually, I might give the training session a miss and start on the dinner before fat Mal and fat Closey eat all the prawn cocktails.

Cheers and up the mighty morans!!!


PS. To GayloverBunniesMan of Coffs HArbour, please stop sending me the naked pics. I'm not interested. I've got the black hoodie on with the big20 and all the babes are wanting a piece of the big20..............oh, wait, wrong blog.